i dont wanna be 'jst the other girl'. today was full of mistakes and disappointments. first i was taken for being gullible. you knew right from the start i believed in anything you said. for that joke you cracked, it badly affected me and it almost made me cried. then you tell me im gullible, in believing that false truths you made up. is this fair at all. i cant get mad. i cant get disappointed. it'll jst make matters worst. right? then again, i apologise for faults that were nvr mine. please tell me im living my life.

then i waited and waited, being strong and determined that i would receive that call. walked out of invitations t dinner and calls t shopping, i stayed on and waited. i do what i speak. i said i would be in sch and waiting. and yes i did. but you choose t go somewhr else, do smth else. sometimes i wish i were dead, like literally. look, you get t go somewhr far away, but at the same time, watching over your loved ones. i dont knw. sometimes i feel im being paranoid over the smallest thing. which is so random, i get so flustered i dont knw who i am. oh well. my head's spinning like really wildly. sometimes, being dead isnt that good. i jst simply love it when i get t swim. though im still sick. it's even better. swim and swim like there's no end. jst swim on and on. hands sore and numb body, swimming on. under water, nobody bothers me. i get everything outta my head and yeah. im tired.

goodnight.

♥