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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
130906


today the girls had a wonderful chat. we sat around esplanade, while waiting to work and just, talked. we talked about how love can be so mystical and yet so fatal. how you could knw that he's your bf one moment and the next you ask yourself why you're holding on to a stranger's hand. we talked we laughed we sat there quietly. i pondered i thought. she is a very very strong lady and very respectable. then i self reflected, i asked myself when have i ever proved myself proud. when have i ever walked down the empty streets with dignity and grace, with love and cautiousness. then i asked myself again, why did i fall so deep, why am i so blinded, why am i so ignorant, stubborn and dumb. the eyes the stares, it didnt feel good. there were never good comments, neither were there praises nor a simple envious look. ive seen the light and im starting to be aware. of what and how people portray of one another. random words may seem random to some, but what they do not know of, is how those words they hurt. every. single. word. it's not a matter of being petty, you just dont knw how you get on my fucking(: nerve. just, whatever.

as we continued the little girl talk, tears came upon me. i realised what ive been living for.
(:


♥