Trying to believe that you're gone;
Love takes time to heal when you're hurting so much.

I don't wanna be here, because everywhere I look, somehow you had to occupy the whole of my mind. The pain inside, not even someone I hold dearly could understand, could feel. He said, stay strong and hate me. She said, Baby if it were so easy, I would have done so. When you were gone, it wasn't that difficult, all she had to do was stay positive and believe that one day her feelings would touch your heart in some way. She knows, she knows that it is not possible, she tries so hard to convince the people around her that she's doing just fine, but slowly it's wearing out, she faces the world alone. You told her you'd be here, but you're doing it. Like what other boys always do. Walking on by, pretending she's not there. She hadn't a clue what was going on, she was willing to forgive the mistakes you did, all the didn't-dos and all that emotions and behaviour of yours she contained, but no, she knows too, that if the kite slipped from her hand, it has. Her friend said to her, we could take things a step at a time, this way, nobody gets hurt. Only then she understood that she was part of the blame. 4.16am and the clock goes on ticking by, she's tired and her eyes are swollen. She has no idea where to go or what to do, but let these tears fall and trickle down her already sunken cheeks. There's just too many things she still doesn't know, could you kindly break it to her, so that it would be easier to handle. Everything was planned, going to Surge and going clubbing almost so frequently, she's so caught up with fixing the puzzle so that the picture becomes clearer. It happened once, now it did again. She's convinced that history would not repeat itself, but she just doesn't want to believe that it wouldn't. Then again it wouldn't. Does she go on holding the kite in her hands, or does she release it higher and further but still reachable, or should she tie it free and pretend she didn't recognise the kite even if it did come back to her again? And if the latter happened, she would run away, far away that he couldn't find her, for then she would get what she had always sought after; to be away from the harsh reality. She tried avoiding, avoiding everything that would make her tear, or even bring her to her past, doing all sorts of nasty things, but she know she couldn't run away from it. She couldn't bear to do so. She wants to scream, all her feelings suppressed within, she merely want to let it all out,

and now all she could do is cry.

♥